


Don't leave me

by A_shadow_of_the_truth



Category: The Shadowhunter Chronicles - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Bottom Jace Wayland, F/F, F/M, Good Parent Maryse Lightwood, Jace Wayland Feels, Jace Wayland is a Lightwood, M/M, Multi, Protective Alec Lightwood, Protective Magnus Bane, Switch Alec Lightwood, Threesome - M/M/M, Top Magnus Bane
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-24
Updated: 2017-10-30
Packaged: 2018-11-18 14:29:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 2,555
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11292573
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/A_shadow_of_the_truth/pseuds/A_shadow_of_the_truth
Summary: When Jace is killed by Valentine in City Of Glass Clary doesn't wish for Jace to come back to life, instead she wishes for her mother back. After her wish is granted Clary and the others remember their favourite times with Jace and how he changed their lives for the better...Everyone but Magnus, because he can't just sit back and watch his Alec cry over Jace's body, nor can he stand to see Jace pale and unmoving.





	1. Follow your heart

**Author's Note:**

> I thought of writing this after I read the books. I wasn't pleased with Clary and Jace's feelings towards each other or the way Jace's death was played down as an almost 'every day' occurrance. 
> 
> So I wrote this.
> 
> Also, just to say the style might be a bit different than usual as my sister is helping me out with this. :) This profile was originally for us to share, but then my sister decided she didn't want to use it. She's changed her mind now, so from now on we're sharing this account.

Jace's  POV

 

 _..."_ _Last words,"_ I hissed "What are they?" I desperately wanted to hear what he had to say; death brings out another side of a person, an honest side where they feel they can be themselves, and I was fed up with the lies. The deceit. And even Valentine could tell when to give up. He raised his head to look at me, his black eyes grave.

"I'm sorry, I am so sorry." My eyebrows furrowed, confusion clear on my face. But before I had time to ask what he was sorry for he shot something from his hand, a flash of silver the only sign my delayed reaction would cost me dearly. The next thing I knew Valentine bore the Mortal Sword into my chest, my flesh tearing apart like it was paper. My eyes widened in surprise, my body unable to process what had happened to me. I looked down at my chest: When had the blood appeared? Why was there blood leaking from my stomach? Then the sword was gone, replaced with a gaping hole. I fell to my knees, too weak to stand but not quite knowing why. My mind was hazy with shock, and I could see Valentine's mouth move but I couldn't hear what he was saying. I remembered my sword dropping from my hand at some point, when exactly I wasn't sure, and I could feel myself slipping away. 

I opened my mouth, about to attempt at least a sentence, but I was rewarded with only blood. The copper taste made me want to gag, but I was unable.

And that's when it hit me; the pain. Wave after wave of it, threatening to consume me. 

I would have cried out, but my voice was somehow...lost. The dull throbbing around my wound was becoming unbearable, and the twinges of pain were too much for me to bear. Fat, hot tears rolled down my cheeks, and my vision was getting more blurry by the second. 

But I knew I owed Clary a goodbye. She had stood by me no matter what, and her trust in me was more than I could have ever hoped for. I found her with my eyes, blinking them rapidly to get rid of the tears. I noticed her distress and offered her a reassuring smile, but I don't think she bought it. 

We locked eyes for the last time, and I knew by the look on her face she had got the message: don't worry about me Clary FairChild, I'll be fine. Worry about yourself instead. Our enemy's are strong but you are stronger. And remember this:no matter what, follow your heart, as your heart will always tell the truth. To love isn't to destroy; to love is to save, and to be loved is to be the one saved. So follow your heart.

And with that last look at the girl before me my body went completely limp in Valentine's arms, and I left the world with only one regret: I would never get to apologise for leaving my parabatai, my Magnus, my family and all those I had learned to love.

 

 


	2. The choice is yours

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clary watches Jace die, and thinks about what he told her:to follow her heart no matter what.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just thought we'd point out that we're combining some things from the tv series with the books (like Jocelyn's death) if you haven't figured that out already. 
> 
> And to remind anyone reading this: we're always up for answering questions. :)

Clary's POV

...I watched as Jace died, my eyes filled with pain and my heart beating 100 times faster than ever before.

...I watched as the Angel Raziel killed Valentine, and couldn't help but think of the irony: Valentine had taken Jace's life in an attempt to 'purify' the earth, but was instead rewarded with death himself when the very thing that had ended Jace's life thought him unworthy of help. Valentine would never have died if he hadn't killed Jace.

...I watched as Raziel freed me from my bonds, and allowed me to speak once more.

...And last of all, I watched as the angel waited for my answer:what did I want? What would I ask of him.

And that was the hardest decision of all.

The choice is yours Clary, I told myself. You can have anything. But I felt that no matter the choice I made I would end up failing those I loved: I owed Jace his life back; he had fought valiantly by my side, and didn't deserve death. He had many people who loved him, and had finally found people he considered family. I was so scared that I would have to tell everyone that cared about him he was dead, that he could never come back home. But yet I wanted my mother back with my whole being, my very heart and soul. She had died in a freak accident: a demon attack when we least expected it. At least Jace had gone down fighting. It wasn't fair my mum had left me like that, right after we got her back. It just wasn't fair. Call me selfish, but I wanted to do something to benefit me for a change.  

I weighed the options in my mind. Jace or Jocelyn. The boy I considered my brother wether we shared blood or not. Or my mother, who I had grown up with the whole of my life, the woman who had tried to protect me no matter what. 

I knew I didn't have much time left to make my decision, but I didn't know who to choose...It suddenly clicked within me: the perfect choice. Jace had told me to follow my heart, and he deserved to have his last with granted.

"My mother," I told the angel "I want my mother back." The angel's expression didn't change. I had no idea wether Raziel thought my request a good or a bad one, or wether, I thought with a sudden burst of panic, he intended to grant it at all.  _Close your eyes, Clarissa Morgenstern,_ the angel said. I shut my eyes. You didn't say no to an angel, no matter what it had in mind.

I floated around in the void of my mind, feeling numb and confused. Until I heard my mum's voice of course. Then I snapped back into reality, opening my eyes wide, although I hadn't  wanted to in case this was some sort of dream. Some alternative reality.

But when I did open my eyes I was greeted with the one person I had been aching to see again, to embrace, for as long as I could remember. Jocelyn stood before me, her face stained with tears as she looked back at me, no sign of injury on her skin.

"You're alive," I whispered, hugging her tightly "Really alive." With a slow wonderment she reached to touch my face.

"I was in the dark," she said softly "There was nothing there but shadows,and I was a shadow, and I knew that I was dead, and that it was over, all of it. And then I heard your voice. I heard your voice, and it brought me back."

"Not me." My voice tightened. "The angel Raziel brought you back, I just wished for you."

"And that's all that matters." With that I sunk to my knees with my mum, glad to have her back, and started crying. Crying out of happiness because I finally had my mother back, but also crying for Jace, for another soul lost this night. 

I didn't bother telling my mum what had happened, with Jace, what had happened since she was gone, and I didn't tell her people would soon interrupt us. I didn't tell her because she knew about Jace; I had seen her eyes find his body on the ground, and I knew she was content sitting with me on the floor for now, no answers needed.

 

 


	3. I thought nothing could come between us...not even death

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alec is forced to endure a pain no one should ever have to go through: the pain of losing his parabatai, his lover, his whole world. And the worst bit is; Jace is still so young

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another chapter :)

Alec's POV

 

I was in the middle of fighting a Forsaken when I felt it, my brow covered in sweat and my body aching: there was something wrong, very wrong. I stumbled to the ground, gripping my clothes in a tight fist just above my heart. The pain was unbearable.

"Alexander!" I heard Magnus call. Turning my head slightly I noticed that he was locked in combat with the Forsaken I had been fighting. Stupid! I scolded myself, scrambling to my feet, I shouldn't have let myself get distracted.

With a last wave of his hand my boyfriend slew the dark Shadowhunter, a look of disgust on his delicate features. "Alexander! What do you think you were doing sitting on the floor without your weapon? You could have gotten yourself killed!" I looked down at my bow and arrows on the floor, picking them up,quickly. "Explain yourself!" 

"It...something's wrong Mag. I don't know what it is but I feel empty. I feel like I'm losing myself." Magnus frowned in confusion. "I shouldn't have got distracted, but the pain was overwhelming. It still is." I winced, tears in my eyes as another wave of pain consumed me. My boyfriend grabbed my arm and dragged me away from the centre of the battlefield, where we would be safer.

"Take off your shirt."

"Wait, what!?" I spluttered, embarrassed at how blunt his voice was.

"Honey, now is not the time to be shy. You may be hurt, so I want you to take off your shirt."

"Breathing heavily, I pulled my shirt over my head. "Better?"

"Yes...let's see..." He said, gently running his hands over my chest and back.

I suddenly cried out, and promptly fell over once more.

"Alexander what's wrong? Alec, speak to me!" I heard my warlock say, shaking me lightly.

And that's when I knew; my parabatai rune throbbing and sore.

"Jace." I muttered. "He's...he...I can't f-feel him! Gasping, I lent into Magnus' embrace.

I don't know how long passed, but I ended up sobbing into his shoulder, shaking as I tried to calm myself and get rid of the hollow feeling where my heart should be. He muttered soothing words into my ear, but no amount of reassurance could console me now.

"I need to find him."

"Alexander, I-" 

"I'm serious. I need to find him." I repeated, my voice monotonous, not wanting to show any weakness. I had to stay strong for Jace.

"Take my hand." He then said, creating a portal in front of us. I did, and he pulled me through without another word. 

                                                             * * * * 

'I ignored the sick feeling in the pit of my stomach from portal travelling, and ran as fast as my feet could carry me until I reached the source of the crying: Jocelyn and Clary.  _Wait, Jocelyn?_ What was  _she_ doing here?

I pushed the thought aside, there would be time for questions later. Instead, I fell down beside my parabatai's body, not caring about the scenery.

"Jace baby. Jace _please_ wake up.  _I beg you!"_ I knew it was no use; I had felt our connection severe, and my lover's body showed no sign of life. But that didn't stop me. I could  _not_ give up.

"Alec? Alec stop! It's over...he's gone." Clary told me, her voice gravelly and weak.

"This is YOUR FAULT!" I screamed at her angrily. "YOU'RE VALENTINE'S DAUGHTER, YOU PUT JACE IN DANGER. AND WHAT DO YOU GET? YOU GET REWARDED! REWARDED I TELL YOU! YOU GET YOUR MOTHER BACK, BUT WHAT DOES JACE GET? HE GETS PAIN AND DEATH! SO DON'T YOU DARE SPEAK TO ME. dON'T YOU  _DARE!"_

"That's enough. You need to calm down." Magnus told me sternly. "This wasn't Clary's fault." I knew he was right, but I've always acted rash when someone I loved died, someone I hadn't been able to protect. I just couldn't help it.

"I thought nothing could come between us...not even death." I told him in a whisper. "I just...I can't do this anymore."

"I know." Crooned Magnus. "And you won't have to."

Normally, I would've looked at my boyfriend sceptically, expecting an answer to what he meant by that. But I was too caught up in grief.

Bowing my head I closed my eyes, picturing my life with Jace, imagining he was still with me; holding my hand and telling me I would be alright...

 

 


	4. A/N

I'm back!!!

 

You can expect the next update very soon! :)


	5. A/N             Disclaimer

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Quick disclaimer, seing as I forgot to do it earlier.

****

I am so dumb and stupid I forget to add a disclaimer!!

So sorry!!

 

 

 

 

  
_**All characters, as well as the world they live in, belong to Cassandra Clare! I definitely do NOT own them, and I am not making any money writing this story. :)** _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next update soon


	6. A/N read this if you want To carry on reading this piece of crap

I have no idea when this will be updated, because I'm to busy trying not to kill myself so I don't break a promise I made. Goodbye. 

From one of your writers who is so lazy she can't even be bothered to update this story


	7. ...I don't even know...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry this isn't an update if you're reading this, I just need to write and hope it will clear my head enough that I can continue with this story.
> 
> This is actually for someone but they won't read it, so...I suppose I'm just hoping they would, even though i know there's no point hoping...

I know I lied recently, and I'm sorry. I know it's awful for someone to lie to you, and that once they do, you might not ever believe them again. I'm not telling you to trust me, I'm just telling you I'm sorry and wishing you would believe me. I rarely lie, but I did this time, I'll admit. I know I'll never have a chance to tell you any of this Because we cut off contact, and i know it's best for you. So I'm sorry for being so selfish; I just didn't want to loose what we had. My time talking to you was some of the best moments of my life. I felt like I could be myself for once without the fear of getting judged. Everyone I know either views me as weak and not worth their time, or arrogant and rude. But they're only masks I use to protect myself. I feel the need to do that all the time you know; trust doesn't come easy for me. I lied because I wanted to talk to you, and I'm scared of being alone. With you I never felt that. I lied because I wanted to prove our conversations didn't have to be focused solely on me, and I could be positive. I could be better. I lied because it lets me vent my feelings and emotions to stop them bottling up if I pretend to be someone else. If I'm pretending to be a scared person (for example) it allows me to vent the feeling of being scared I feel but can never express to anyone normally. I know it was selfish of me to lie, but it was all based loosely around reality, and I never lied to you beforehand. Life is just really complicated to explain sometimes. I'm so sorry. I wish you knew and I wish you would forgive me. I'm going to try and not talk to you again, I don't want to make you feel negative emotions because of me. But it's so hard. I've learned my lesson. I don't care how long we talk. I just want to because I miss you so much! I want to know you're okay, I want to see how your life has been and I want to tell you that I'll get better. For you. I don't care if it doesn't mean anything to you, because it means something to me. But you'll never know. So I'm sorry. I wish it hadn't turned out this way. I wish you could be proud of me. I wish we could still be 'friends'. Tomorrow will be a fresh start for me.

**Author's Note:**

> i have a few chapters down already, so updates won't take long.


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